Find What Makes Them Tick

July 13, 2011

YOUNG ME: “How do you work so well with different people?”

MANAGER: “I find what makes them tick.”

That was the best advice I EVER got in dealing with different people.

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Communication is something that we all struggle with.  Everyone has different life stories, cultures, success and failures.  However,  when it boils down to it,  we are all just people who want to be listened to and understood.  This is why it is important to find what makes people “tick” … aka … what makes motivates people … what makes them happy.

How do you find what makes people “tick”?

It’s not easy … nor is it an exact science … but here are a 5 tips that I find help with the process.

TIP # 1:  LISTEN
The most important, but often missed step in the process.

When you are truly listening to someone all your focus is on them and you process every single word they are saying.  You do not interrupt them.  You let them stop speaking before you speak or form you own opinions.

It’s a very simple concept, but we don’t always do this.  Especially when we are in a hurry or know what we want.

Also,  when you are listening to someone you will learn how they communicate… direct, very formal, casual, scattered … etc.  You will also see if they are decisive, indecisive, or really laid back.

Listening reveals a lot about what makes a person tick and the language style to use when communicating with them.

TIP # 2:  DON’T STEREOTYPE
This has always been a big NO NO.  By stereo typing someone you are sticking them in a box that they might not belong in.  Put aside your pre-conceived notions of how you think someone is or how you think they should be … and focus on who they really are.

By setting aside all stereotypes,  you focus on the true person and do not make assumptions based on what you do not know first hand.

This will help helps you figure out what type of person they are…. You see if they are a happy or a sad person.  If they are strong willed or insecure.

TIP #3: SHARE SOMETHING PERSONAL
It doesn’t have to be your deepest darkest secret, but share something that shows you’ve got a little bit of life experience.

This will allow you to gauge how comfortable this person is about their personal life.  Sometimes they’ll respond with a very personal story … and sometimes they’ll just nod their heads.

Depending on their response you can unveil if they have are a very private person or a very open person.  You might even discover they have hidden talents or skills that they don’t always openly talk about.

TIP # 4: BE HONEST
Being honest shows sincerity and proves that you are not a robot.  People don’t like to talk to robots, people like to talk to people.

Be honest with yourself and the person you are talking to.  This will establish a trust and open communication.  They might even openly communicate what makes them happy w/o you having to ask.

TIP #5: BE OPEN MINDED
Don’t be distracted by other peoples differences.  Accept people for who they are and try not to wish upon them who you wish they would be.

Instead … focus on their strengths and what you do like about them.   You do not have the power to change them so you might as well get over it and move forward.

Easier said than done, especially if you have very strong opinions or are very strong willed.

To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

– Tony Robbins

I’m no expert in communication BUT I can say that the moment I started to find what makes people “tick” my life got a little easier.

Happy people help make the world “tick.”


Happy Little Snowman

December 16, 2010

A few of the snowmen before I gave them away

I wanted to give my coworkers a small but thoughtful Christmas gift.  My intention was to make them smile and to bring a little holiday cheer into the office. 

While browsing youtube for “holiday arts and crafts” and I came accros a video that discussed holiday crafts.  At about 1:51 the lady showed little snowmen made out of socks.  I thought the idea of using baby socks as a beanie was too cute!  It inspired me to take that idea and create my own little version of snow peeps!

A couple days later I brought my little snow peeps to work.  Everyone who received one was suddenly so happy!!  Their eyes lit up, their voices got a little high pitched, and they were just filled with joy!  I didn’t realize that these little snowmen would bring so much glee!! 

Since these little snowmen generated so much happiness, I decided to make my first youtube tutorial.  I want to share how to make these little guys so that whoever is watching can make them, share them, and spread more happiness! 
Enjoy watching the video below:

just me,
Cat


Happy Thoughts

December 2, 2010

Jaclyn Rae recently commented on one of the posts in our blog.  It prompted me to read her blog and I thought this blog was AWESOME!

http://polkadotteapot.wordpress.com/2010/12/01/happy-thoughts/

She wrote about how she keeps a journal dedicated to happy thoughts.  I can see that being a valuable reference to anyone who is in need of a “pick me up.”

Happy happy, joy joy!
Cat


Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

December 1, 2010

Today my co-worker went to Chipotle, opened his wallet and discovered that all that remained was one lonely little card. And it wasn’t even a credit or debit card. 😦

The person behind the counter was kind enough to let him have his food for free.

Trying to think the best of people, he tried to find places around him where things could have fallen out. He even asked a few people if they were playing a joke on him. Unfortunately … No luck.

Later on that day he said that he wasn’t angry or even upset about it. He said it wasn’t worth it. I also over heard him say, “if someone took it … How sad is that?” As though he felt bad for the other person.

He’s a GREAT example of how to act in that situation. Feeling upset or angry won’t solve or change what happened. Accept it and move forward.

Cheers to not letting the small stuff ruin your day!

Just me,
Cat


One Vision

November 22, 2010

“If Catherine has one vision and George has one vision … what do you have?  Division.”  – Father Manny, St. Michael’s church.

2 years ago today,  the priest told us the above quote at our wedding ceremony.  His little quote still makes us giggle and our friends still talk about it … but we all know that Father Manny was right.   Although we’ve only been married for 2 years,  we have been together for 10 years.  I’d be lying if I said our relationship has always been filled with candy and roses.  We do have the occasional “debate.”

Gee and I have always said that we don’t fight … we debate!  What makes a fight different from a debate is that we are really listening to each other and trying to understand the other person’s point of view.  After our debate,  we come to some sort of compromise and decide what the best thing is to do. 

I make our debates sound very civil, huh?  It’s not always that way.  Sometimes they get really heated and sometimes we cry … but we never go to bed angry.   We always come to some sort of compromise or we realize at the end how silly we were for debating in the first place. 

After we got married our debates have gotten shorter.  One of the reason’s that they have gotten shorter is we started to say, “One Vision!”  in the middle of our debate.  It always lightens the mood and reminds us that we’ve got to get to the point and compromise.

Always remember to share the same vision with your partner.  If there are any disagreements … don’t fight … debate!

just me,
Cat


You can do it!

November 21, 2010

I’ve been catching up on Grey’s Anatomy season 6.  If you are not familiar with this show,  it’s a medical drama tv series that focuses on the lives of several  surgeons.  To me,  it’s more about life than it is the surgeries.

While watching season 6 the quote, “Just because you’ve never done it, doesn’t mean you can’t” was said a couple of times. 

That quote reminds me of all the times I’ve said, “I can’t,” “I don’t know how,” or “you do it, I’m scared.”  Those were moments of panic and fear where I doubted myself and my ability as a human being.  In those moments,  I missed the opportunity to become something great.

There is always going to be a little fear inside of when we are faced with something new.  We fear the consequences if something goes wrong so much that we let it hinder our ability to move forward and see the consequences if everything goes right.

In the moments when I’ve said, “Sure,” “Why not, it’s fun,”  or “I’ll do it with some help” … I’ve been able to work through the fear and see that 99% of the time,  everything works out okay.  I walk away with more knowledge and that knowledge makes me GREAT.  It’s the one thing that no one can take away from you.

Get over the initial fear and you’ll be able to accomplish all your little heart desires.

Be brave!
Cat


The Power of Intention

November 16, 2010

I recently bought one of his books called The Power of Intention  written by Dr. Wayne Dyer which explores the idea that intention is not something we do, but an energy we are a part of.  I know exactly what he is referring to.  Everything falls into place when I give into this force that tells me something just “feels right.”

Here’s an excerpt from page 10 of the book that I thought was very interesting.  I hope you find it interesting too.

Ego is made of six primary ingredients that account for how we experience ourselves as disconnected.  By allowing ego to determine your life path, you deactivate the power of intention.  Briefly, here are the six ego beliefs.  I’ve written more extensively about them in several of my previous books, most notably Your Sacred Self.

  1. I am what I have.  My possession define me.
  2. I am what I do.  My achievements define me.
  3. I am what others think of me.  My reputation defines me.
  4. I am separate from everyone.  My body defines me as alone.
  5. I am separate from all that is missing in my life.  My life space is disconnected from my desires.
  6. I am separate from God.  My life depends on God’s assessment of my worthiness.

No matter how hard you try, intention can’t be accessed through ego, so take some time to recognize and read just any or all of these six beliefs.  When the supremacy of ego is weakened in your life, you can seek intention and maximize your potential.

Just me,
Cat