November 22, 2010
“If Catherine has one vision and George has one vision … what do you have? Division.” – Father Manny, St. Michael’s church.
2 years ago today, the priest told us the above quote at our wedding ceremony. His little quote still makes us giggle and our friends still talk about it … but we all know that Father Manny was right. Although we’ve only been married for 2 years, we have been together for 10 years. I’d be lying if I said our relationship has always been filled with candy and roses. We do have the occasional “debate.”
Gee and I have always said that we don’t fight … we debate! What makes a fight different from a debate is that we are really listening to each other and trying to understand the other person’s point of view. After our debate, we come to some sort of compromise and decide what the best thing is to do.
I make our debates sound very civil, huh? It’s not always that way. Sometimes they get really heated and sometimes we cry … but we never go to bed angry. We always come to some sort of compromise or we realize at the end how silly we were for debating in the first place.
After we got married our debates have gotten shorter. One of the reason’s that they have gotten shorter is we started to say, “One Vision!” in the middle of our debate. It always lightens the mood and reminds us that we’ve got to get to the point and compromise.
Always remember to share the same vision with your partner. If there are any disagreements … don’t fight … debate!
May 4, 2010
“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”
– Walt Disney
I watched the Disney movie “Meet the Robinsons” last night. The movie is about a young inventor who is faced with challenges in his life, and eventually overcomes them, in the creative and heartwarming way that Disney is known for. This movie is filled with inspiring life lessons. There were great messages about moving forward, never giving up, failure being acceptable, and the importance of learning from your mistakes.
Here’s the dialogue from a scene where the main character, Lewis, is confronted by someone from his past, whom they call Bowler Hat Guy. The Bowler Hat Guy chose to hold a huge grudge against Lewis because he couldn’t let go of the past.
Lewis: Goob, I had no idea!
Bowler Hat Guy: Shut up! And don’t call me “Goob”! How many evil villians do you know that can pull off a name like “Goob”? Bleh!
Lewis: Look, I’m sorry your life turned out so bad. But don’t blame me you messed it up yourself. You just focused on the bad stuff when all you had to do was… let go of the past and keep moving forward…
Bowler Hat Guy: Hmm, let’s see… take responsiblity for my own life or blame you? Dingdingdingdingding! Blame you wins hands down!
You can allow the past to consume you, inhibiting you from learning from it and really moving forward, like the Bowler Hat Guy who refused to blame himself for his own unhappiness. Or you can put the past behind you, grow from the experience, and become a better person.
The movie ended with the Walt Disney quote above, which summed up the movie perfectly. Our lives are designed to move forward and whether we like it or not, life will go on. Keep Moving Forward!
April 21, 2010
“Change is never easy, you fight to hold on, and you fight to let go.”
-The Wonder Years
Being stuck in the comfort zone is easy. The challenge is change. Fear of the unknown is a powerful thing. It can hold us back when what we should be doing is making moves.
I think the most impactful example of this is when it applies to people in our lives that affect us, as a result of change. In a strained relationship, you can try and exhaust all means to hold on to that bond, up until the point where it affects your happiness more than it’s worth. You may try and try your best to mend a relationship that’s unmendable in an attempt to resist change. That’s the fight to hold on.
Sometimes we just have to accept that it’s better to let go and accept the change ahead, and also to accept the things that we can’t change no matter how hard we try. When people’s roles in our lives transform, we may resist initially, but ultimately, the new role may be better than the old one.
When people leave our lives, I think the best way to look at it is if they’re no longer a part of your life, it’s simply because they’re already done accomplishing whatever purpose it was they needed to do in your life. Something takes them away and they move on, and so should you. And yes, the letting go part can be the toughest fight of all, but it can also be the most effective.
Change is inevitable, embrace it!
April 13, 2010
“A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.”
– Mahatma Gandhi
I think the message here is that it’s important to have a good self image of yourself, and what you’re capable of. With all the different outside factors that can bring insecurity and a distorted self perception of oneself, it can sometimes be hard to say I love myself or I can do it.
A lot of times the obstacles to overcoming things are really all in our minds. We can’t always control what happens in our lives, but we can influence what we think about them. Happiness is a state of mind. If you keep telling yourself that your life sucks, then your life probably will seem like it is that bad. In turn, if you think more positively, then the chances are you’ll react more proactively and act in a way that would bring a better outcome.
Here’s a few things that can help us to think more positively:
- Avoid negative influences. Try to steer clear of people who’s negative mindset can rub you the wrong way too. Attitudes are contagious.
- Find a quote or affirmation you can repeat to yourself when you’re in a difficult situation.
- Help others. It makes you feel good.
- Appreciate all the great things you already have.
- Make a goal. You can feel good about the progress you make towards a goal. It’s when you don’t have one that life gets stagnant and boring.
- Listen to positive music. The current soundtrack of our lives can influence our feelings and actions too.
April 6, 2010
“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”
-AESOP, The Lion and the Mouse
I heard a heart warming story yesterday that I thought I’d share. Back in 2000, a friend of mine had registered to be a bone marrow donor. Almost nine years later, he was contacted and told that he was a donor match! Being a bone marrow donor is not as simple as giving blood. The process he chose to undergo involved a time commitment, testing, doctor visits, injections, potential health risks, and recovery. As a young, healthy guy he felt that it was a small sacrifice to know that he could be prolonging someone elses life. The recipient would be someone he had never met, and at the time, knew very little about.
This past weekend, it had been a year since his donation to the recipient. The recipient who lives on the other side of the country, contacted him and gratefully thanked him for what he did, especially since donors of their ethnicity are uncommon. Turns out, the recipient is only a few years older than my friend. He has a wife and two young children, and is a pastor for a church in his hometown. The entire church was praying for their health and a positive outcome. He’s not 100 % yet, but over the past weekend he played his first nine hole round of golf in years. He said it tired him out a bit, but it was so worth it!
I was totally inspired when my friend told me this story. He selflessly sacrificed a little to give a priceless gift to a perfect stranger, and expected nothing in return. The world can seem like a really tough place sometimes, but the kindness of strangers reminds us that there is so much hope out there. Even the smallest things we do for someone else can really make their day, and in turn, they can really make ours too!
March 31, 2010
Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.
– Oprah Winfrey
When we focus on everything that isn’t there, or could be lacking, we can lose sight of all the other blessings in our lives. It’s important to remember to be grateful and appreciative of what we do have. When you’re upset or frustrated about something that you’re having trouble attaining, stop and remind yourself that your life is still full of great things, great people, great places! Don’t forget to look around and see that you probably already have everything you need, anything more than that is a bonus. If we feel happy and fulfilled that we already have so much, we can appreciate everything else we may get along the way even more.
This is one of my favorite pics of my cousins and I on a weekend family getaway!
Among the many, many things I love about my life and are incredibly grateful for, here are a few…big and small, that make me happy:
- My family who help me appreciate everything I have, to remember what’s really important, and have taught me so many lessons to help me face the world.
- My fiance Ryan. He keeps me grounded, is amazingly loving, genuinely kind, selfless, and makes me laugh from the heart every day!
- My wonderful friends! Those awesome people in my life I know I can always depend on to lift me up. Together we laugh, cry, and tell the painful truth to one another to help eachother grow. They will be there when I’m old and gray.
- A reliable car to get me safely through my commute each day.
- A comfy bed to sleep in every night.
- My health
- A career
- Learning something new
- Being able to see other parts of the world
- Growing up and living in San Diego
- A camera to capture the moments
- Being easily amused
- Sushi rolls
- Dim Sum
- Cadbury Mini Eggs, which are only sold during spring time
- Carne Asada Fries (an SD thing!)
- The Twilight Saga
- The amount of clothes I’ve managed to collect
- My favorite boots to wear in the rain
- The beach
- My cell phone
- The internet
- A creative outlet
- The kindness of strangers
- Daily inspiration
March 23, 2010
” … love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.”
I’ve seen the little monster that starts to grow inside people when they choose not to forgive someone. This little monster is called the grudge. The grudge has the potential to turn a normal person into a little ball of bitterness and tension that shines negative energy. This little monster ball has the potential to bounce around and make the world a horrible place.
The little monster that you tun into will often suffer from:
- chronic pain … from being curled into that ball all day and the stress
- depression … because the negative energy will attract more negative people
- high blood pressure … from being angry all day
Choosing not to forgive someone has many more affects on the body and you mental health. I can go on and on about it, but Instead I’ll point you to this article written by The Mayo Clinic. Click here .
Start forgiving people today. If you do, by the end of the week, you might look younger and more refreshed!!